Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
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