I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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