So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
