You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
and she was petting her beer can
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
