Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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