i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
