ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Even my vagina gasped.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize