ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
