Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
