i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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