"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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