The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My life is pants optional.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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