And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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