OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
