Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
