great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
