Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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