Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
