I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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