theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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