I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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