I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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