Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
