Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
ttyl tear gas
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize