I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
