you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
