I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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