i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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