What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Randomize
