Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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