It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
