Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
