Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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