I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
