So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
