I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
