Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Umm I'm too high to move.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
