I bet he comes in French.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
