and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
