hotel room ftw
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
