do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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