Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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