Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
