Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
