I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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