I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
