People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
