I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
