He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
