dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm at about main and main street
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
