Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize