This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
