Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
one might say we're banned from that church
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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