Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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