So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
