Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
