doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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