Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
