i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Randomize
