it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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