I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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