Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
