i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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