On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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