bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
